In principle, it is love that truly changes hearts and transforms people, not power or rules. It is love that compels sustained changes in behavior, not oaths or doctrines. It is love that provides a willingness to give and it is love that helps us accept, let go, and find peace.

Most group decision-making models encourage that we not include love in the mix. We’re supposed to be objective, rational, unemotional. This works well on the field of battle where the goal is to beat the other guys. But it doesn’t work well when we are trying to find win-win solutions, peaceful solutions. Peace asks us to love our neighbors.

Practical Tip: It’s okay to allow love into your group decision making. This means encouraging passion…and compassion. It means treating everyone as a valued contributor, and no one as an enemy. It means making decisions not just with your head, but also with your heart. It means paying attention not only to the best available knowledge, but to wisdom.

I once heard someone say that “Wisdom equals knowledge plus love.”

In principle, the best things are always built in tiny stages. Often there is the illusion of dramatic change, but even seemingly miraculous changes result from thousands of small steps. Taking small steps forward on a project lets us learn as we go and adjust. Big steps are risky. Small steps are sure-footed. Nature builds in very small increments and achieves very great things.

Practical Tip: Do things small before you do them big, on small stages before big stages. Make use of pilot projects, test cases, and trial runs. Make commitments incrementally. Proceed with many small steps rather than a few giant leaps. When your group wants to rush ahead asking, “What’s the biggest step we can take to achieve our objective?” ask also, “What’s the smallest step we can take?”

It is better to take a small step in what we know is the right direction than to take a large step in what might be the wrong direction.